I woke up early today...I ran out of sleep. I had a dream that I was going through my big box of canvases to take inventory; I kept pulling out glorious finished works that I never recall painting. Every time I took another out, there were more, and more stacked up behind. The box became deeper, and larger...with yet even more pieces building up inside.
The paintings were not like what I had done in the past. These new ones were more emotional rather than cerebral in design.
I feel that for many, many years, medications have hobbled my creativity, to the point that I have become stunted. It has been maybe 6 months at most since I have been off all those drugs. looking back, I'm sure they achieved their purpose in reality...if I were an "Average" person. They were designed to "normalize" my brain to function outside in this world at a job, education, and in social situations.
Creatively, it "dulled" everything. They made my life "Dull" as well.
The struggles I have shared on occasion here, were just the beginning.
Now that I realize that I am no longer bound by those pressing requirements to keep a job, complete an education, and be socially acceptable (ie: needing to nurture, and maintain an expected impression from others points of view), I am free to just "Be".
I think the veil is lifting, there is still more "lifting" to be had. I wonder what another 6 months will reveal...